Active Waiting

I know I have been gone a minute. I was just studying and I thought about how great my God is! My God is so awesome and perfect! His mercies are endless and His grace is sufficient. During my bible study today with some of my girlfriends we came across a quote: "God can and will give you His best if you wait for it."

I have been gone from the blog for a couple months and so much has changed, but God has remained the same--He has been my constant companion and friend. It's something amazing to have a secure love. Something concrete that one never has to question. Although there are those times that make us question God and His plan...

The beginning of this semester has proven to me that God has a special plan for me. I experienced some losses the past year and a half, major losses-- my father, my uncle, my aunt, and two close friends. Every loss was hard, each one hit me different, every time God was there in the little things. The texts from friends, the nights with people who love me, and the memories.

My friends at school asked me a couple times about how I deal with these losses and if it gets easier since it has been happening so often. The answer is it doesn't get easier. I deal with losses like my grandmother. When she found out my dad died she didn't cuss at God, she didn't drain a bottle, she didn't sit and become a shadow of herself. She cried out, "Dios es bueno, God You are so good." Truth be told that broke my heart to hear because I could see the sacrifice of praise in them, I've even felt that sacrifice in syllables from my own mouth. I have been mad at God before, I was mad when my dad died, I almost got mad when these other losses hit me but anger is not of God and I had to master that. I still do.

But God has continued to bless me. With big things and small things. God is good all the time. But especially in times of hardship.

 It is hard to fall on God when everything else around you is falling down. You want to stay standing through it all, but the safest thing to do is fall with everything else. Here's the trick fall on God and not ways of this world. God is amazing and He is waiting to show himself true to you and the others around you. God is a steadfast love. A perfect love. You just have to wait on him and He will appear and show out.

I know it's hard to wait on God. But it is supposed to be an active waiting. Speak to God see if there is a ministry stirring in your spirit. Wait on God but also do work. Remember it is an active waiting. Psalm 119:9-16 (read it, it'll change you). Psalm 130:5-6 "I wait for the LORD, my soul waits and in His word I hope; my soul waits for the LORD more than the watchmen for the morning. more than watchmen for the morning."  Please pray for yourself, your family, your friends, your future (love), and me. Comment subscribe and share lovelies.

Effortless is Not Real.

I know I have been GHOST for a minute, but life happens. I just moved in to my apartment and moved back on campus. I go to the University of Wisconsin Madison. Plus before that I was with my family in Florida, so it has been a while. But Seriously, I didn't forget about this blog. It really has been on my mind.

Going back to school or leaving for school is a scary thing. (You guys know how I am always scared about something) You leave everything familiar most times and try to stay a float. I'm going to be a sophomore and I am still trying to stay a float. College challenges you in all types of ways; your faith, your habits, your intelligence, and your endurance. A lot of people won't be able to deal with it. And that's fine. You're on your own for the first time almost and it is wild. 

For me the biggest thing about leaving home was not having someone to make me go to church..or rather someone physically there to hold me accountable. Plus not only that but I had to find a church i felt comfortable at to go to when I'm on campus. Like it's a real effort to go to church at college and my freshman year I was failing at putting in that effort. But being away from home made me realize no one can put effort into your relationship with God but you. 

You have to be able to pray for yourself and you have to be able to get up for church by yourself. Like that is still a struggle for me while I'm on campus but God is dealing with me on that. Especially what happens to me is I'll feel horrible after missing church and feel like I don't even deserve to be in God's presence after I mess like I do. Like for a couple days I didn't even wanna write the blog, like God wouldn't want to use me. Me? That girl who gets turnt up all the time? No. I'm gonna sit and watch Law and Order SVU all day.  But my friend told me this week " But someone could be missing out on their blessing if u hold back, so don't." 

And that's how great God is. He'll have someone tell you to get up off the couch and do His work. He will use you as you are. He will come to you as you are. Because he is that great. He will love you unconditionally. Mark 2:17 say He has come not for the righteous but for the sinners. (How many of you guys are sinners? Oh no one? mkay. Guess it's just me *hair flips*).

 Something I have been coming across in my studies, is steadfast love. steadfast love. 

It popped up four times so it was no longer a coincidence. Steadfast love is something powerful for both the giver and receiver. The receiver feels loved and special but the giver they feel humbled and sometimes it might hurt to give that steadfast love but they feel its worth it. 

Lately I've been adding steadfast love to my prayer list. Cuz you got too! But no, because it's something amazing to think about. all the love, grace, and mercy God must have to do that. I have to remind myself that at the end of the day no matter how good I did or if I messed up or whatever God is gonna love me just as much as He did before because God is the same and he'll love you the same. Psalms 103:3-5 says He'll crown you with mercy and love. How many men or women are gonna do that for you? No one. So if He is willing to put that effort into your relationship, then you should do the same back. 

No one can be in your relationship with God but you and God. Your mom can pray for you yeah  but sooner or later you're gonna have to pray for yourself. How else are you gonna get that covering for your future household. So lets start covering ourselves and putting in that effort because that is all it takes--is effort.

Lovelies keep me in your prayers, comment, subscribe, and share. :)

Whats In Your Box?

Has someone ever told you something like, “Oh you’re going places?” “If you only knew where you are going…” I have always felt slightly irritated after hearing that. Like really bro? OBVIOUSLY I DON’T KNOW WHERE IM GOING! I am probably messing up the entire pathway to this destination that you speak of. But lately people keep saying this to me….really they have always said this and I know it is horrible but the more and more I hear things like that, the more skeptical I am. I know I don’t know anything. I know I am not anything without God. That is all I know for sure.

Ask me what I’m doing tomorrow I can tell you what I’m going to try and do. I’m gonna try and sin as least as possible and see myself as beautiful. That has been my goal all summer. Will it happen? I’m not sure… someone might come up to me and say “you’re gonna be a mighty woman of God” ooookaaayyy. I receive that. But think of all the pressure of trying to become that…. I have dealt with pressure and expectation. I have succeeded and failed. Pressure scares me. Yes basically through these blogs you’ll learn I am a giant soft scaredy cat. It’s fine.

Growing up in church I always felt like people expected a lot from me…like my mom is awesome…so people expected me to pray like her and worship like her. That pressure just made me wanna hide in the back and sneak out to the water fountain. Honestly, if I  am half the woman my mother is I’ll be satisfied. But God has called me to be something completely different. Me being scared to do God’s work because I might not measure up is a pretty weak excuse for sitting down right? Right. I was weak. I still am weak.

I have poems all inside of me but I am too scared to pick up a pen and write them down. I want to give God glory but if I sit down and try to write about Him and it isn’t as good as a regular poem I wrote before, what does that say about me? Am I a horrible Christian? Am I not trying? Honestly I’m not sure yet. All I know is that I want to give my best to God, but this fear I have holds me back a lot. For me to be scared to write….that’s the worst thing in the world for me.  Poetry is a form of worship for me. I love to lose myself in music and words and just think about how great God is. Like have you ever listened to some drums and wondered what happens in heaven when they’re played? I have.  But what goes on in heaven when I write a poem and slam? I have no clue. Too scared to think about it. (“Did she just get a seven? SMH David or Ezekiel would’ve gotten a thirty.”)

I wonder if that’s how the lady with alabaster box felt when she was trying to give her all to Jesus, if she was scared of what people were gonna say, or worried that she didn’t have enough to give? The thing is she did it anyway and was forgiven and honored. What are we hiding away in boxes that could be given to God but we are too scared to break them over His feet? Maybe you want to be a fashion designer, a rapper, a photographer, or a poet and you’re wondering “How can I even bring glory to God with this?”

If you try, God will use you for His glory. He will take you and cling to you. I know this. I am not about my testimony right now, but God will cling to you and give you favor when you least deserve it . Why? Because He is God.. That’s all the explanation He needs. I wonder what the world would look like if a group of youth were willing to give it all to God with no fears or regrets. Just trusting Him.  Isnt that what this is all about? Trusting and waiting on God? I know I am trying. And if you have the faith of a mustard seed it’ll move mountains….so let’s see what  mountains you move with God. Comment, subscribe, pray and share lovelies :)

The Youth of Today On Waiting Girls Edition

When I went to write this blog I was actually sad. Because no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t think of a Christian guy I knew that was waiting or even a virgin. But as I thought about it longer I realized I knew guys who were virgins, they just weren’t Christian and if there are non Christian guys waiting there has to be Christian guys out there waiting, so thus began my search But as I went on my search I realized I didn’t care if they were waiting or Christian I just wanted to hear people’s stories. So in these surveys are a plethora of people from all over the place with different stories and views.

I apologize for the unequal amount of guys versus girls. But I am one of those girls that believes that girls can be friends with guys, so it just happened that way.

Don't forget to comment, subscribe, share, and pray. 

GIRLS 

#1

How would you define waiting?
For me, waiting is remaining celibate until you have found the person who you love and loves you just as much. Developing a relationship with them beyond physical desire and on an emotional, spiritual level. When you've established that, then I think it's appropriate to share yourself physically.
Have you chosen to wait?
I have not waited in the traditional sense of the term, but on my own terms, yes I did wait.
Why have you chosen to not wait? or Why have you chosen to wait?
I have chosen not to wait because I believe that sharing myself with another person in a physical manner is my own personal decision. While I do believe that God has saved someone special for me somewhere in the world, I don't think there's any harm in engaging in sexual activity as long as I make sure to protect myself, physically and emotionally.
Do you regret your decision thus far?
I don't regret my decision thus far. Although we have broken up, the only guy I have had sex with was my boyfriend of two years and my best friend of three. I share everything with him; therefore it only seemed natural to share that experience with him as well.
What do you think of people that wait?
I think people who wait are extremely honorable and I respect them for their decision. I don't think it would be something I'd be able to do.
Would you want your children to wait?
I would want my children to wait until they have found someone who loves them more than anything.
Would you want to marry someone who has waited or who has not waited?
I would want to marry someone who has not waited just so that we are on the same page in a physical manner.
How would you describe your future husband or wife?
My future partner will be just as loving as I am; which is to say unconditionally, without reason or doubt. They will be kind and respect me, my values, and everything/everyone I hold close to me.
Why do you think people wait?
People wait for many reasons. Whether it be for religious reasons, or for personal ones, I think the main reason people wait is so they don't get hurt in the end.
Do you think waiting is accepted?
Waiting is definitely not accepted in today's society. It is extremely disappointing how this is something that is actually frowned upon; one's beliefs should never be criticized in such a manner.
Do you know anyone whose waiting or has waited?
I do know one person who is waiting. She seems extremely set in her ways, and I am proud of her for choosing such a path for herself. 

#2

How would you define waiting? Well I think of it as abstaining from any sexual contact until marriage
Have you chosen to wait? Yes
Why have you chosen to not wait? or Why have you chosen to wait? I have because God designed sex for marriage, to spiritually and emotionally unify a couple. If I were to have sex with every person I had feelings for, that would be a piece of me gone with them, and then when the time has come for my husband, there'll be nothing left for him, and he deserves ALL of me. Plus, sex prematurely makes things so much more complicated and can make you blind to the truth
Do you regret your decision thus far? not at all

What do you think of people that wait? I think people that wait have a lot of willpower and are to be applauded, especially nowadays where sex is everywhere and the mentality is to get as much of it as possible

Do you think waiting would strengthen someones relationship with God as well as their partner? YESSSSS. Honestly the only people that I know that have successfully waited until marriage had a very strong relationship with God. It takes one in order to put pleasing and honoring God ahead of pleasing yourself and your own desires. and doing that alone will strengthen the relationship with their partner because 1. God will be pleased with it and bless it and 2. it's alot easier to get to know your partner when you aren't ripping each other's clothes off half the time.

Would you want your children to wait? Most definitely.lol

Would you want to marry someone who has waited or who has not waited? that has waited. If I waited for them, I want them to wait for me.

How would you describe your future husband or wife? God fearing, a leader, a family man, selfless and a good listener. A provider

Why do you think people wait? Because now a days you don't know who you're messing with and who you're getting into relationships with, and you don't wanna invest all that into people who might not be there to stay.

Do you think waiting is accepted? I think it's accepted in the sense that it's not like bashed. But i still get a few side looks when I tell people I'm celibate.

Do you know anyone whose waiting or has waited? I know quite a few people that are waiting and that have waited

Any further thoughts on waiting? I just think it should be further pushed, not as a last resort kinda thing, but instead of just saying "Don't Have Sex" and wagging a finger, the honest truth about it, the benefits, what the bible says about it should be told to get people to understand WHY we should wait.

"Waiting".


#3


 Hmm. Waiting for me means that I recognize that there is one man for me, the man God created for me and I am the woman He created for him. Because of this, I do not need to entertain other men as if they are the one when they are not. That doesn't just mean no sex. It means no romantic relationship. It means no flings. It means no dips, boos, shorty doo wops and the like. It also means nothing that can LEAD to a romantic relationship or sex or fling etc as well (i.e. dating, PDA, flirting, kissing, holding, cuddling, extended time spent together alone, etc.). I will WAIT for my future husband to leave his home and cleave to me (Gen. 2:24). That is all contingent on whether God ordains for me to be married, as the gift of singleness is often treasured more in God's eyes than marriage (1 Cor. 7).

I have chosen to wait not just because there is one man for me (possibly), but because anything you do that is not God's desire will cease, and with some pain, especially soul ties. I experienced this myself not too long ago, and the pain was so deep, it affected every part of me, most of all, my connection to Christ. We were estranged, and I realized I didn't know Him like I thought I did mainly because I was tied up into some boy that I THOUGHT was my husband, but I knew I NEVER heard that from the Lord (instead, I just went along with what he thought God said to him). Your husband should make you cling to Christ, not pull you away. So that is why I've chosen to wait. I don't want to be in a situation that pulls me away from Christ.

I do not regret it thus far. I truly cracked down on waiting not too long ago actually, and it's so refreshing. The soul ties are gone, I feel free, and I don't feel the pressure to be someone I'm not. I'm living more purely than I've ever lived. And Christ is finally at the center of my heart. Can't get better than that.

Waiting is something you can only do with God leading the way. It strengthens your relationship to Him tremendously. Because we all desire to be loved. We were created that way. We want to feel special. And when you decide to not receive that from a random person, but from God, He makes you TRULY whole. Same thing goes for your future spouse. So when you DO meet, you don't cling to each other because you need him/her or he/she needs you. You cling to each other to demonstrate God's love and grace for mankind through you loving each other.

Of COURSE, I want my kids to wait!! Do you know how many lows I would've avoided had I waited earlier? TONS!!! And I firmly believe that until a child leaves home, he/she will come to fully know him/herself. So how are you gonna tell me you know that you're ready to be in a relationship? You barely know yourself!

Since I've made the decision to wait, I'd like for my future hubby to do the same because then we can both see how serious we are about being the best we can be for our spouses as well as how dedicated we are to Christ. Now, since I made this decision at age 19, I can definitely understand if he's made it later on in life, or that he has baggage with him as he meets me, because I have plenty of baggage myself. I have failed relationships, soul ties, impurities, and sexual immorality on my record that cannot be ignored. It is my testimony. And it might be his. And with God working through us, we will overcome those bounds together. But if he's serious about marrying me, he must wait. I have those standards now and I WILL NOT WAVER ON THEM.

My future hubby has a LOT to live up to, but I believe he can accomplish it by setting Christ as his center. My husband must be pursuing Christ with his whole heart. He must recognize what marriage is as defined by God and the type of man he should be as demonstrated through Christ. He must know that he has to pursue ME and I not pursue HIM. He must fight for my heart when I reject him (and I will. Multiple times. Because he has to show himself approved). He should know that as the bridegroom, His love represents Christ's love for the church, the bride (i.e. ME!). Meaning He should be prepared to lay His life down for his wife. Meaning He should be a sanctifier and savior for his wife. Meaning He should be a leader. Meaning He must love and respect his wife. Meaning that if she sins against him, He must forgive her and give her grace because all of these things are what Jesus did for us and this is who He is. (Eph. 5:23)

People wait for many reasons. Most are like my reason. Others are because some people are afraid of a relationship, or are too particular or picky, or other carnal reasons. But the "phenomenon" that is waiting is almost always based on reasons that pertain to someone's connection to God or their religion (if not Christianity).

Waiting is BY NO MEANS ACCEPTED in our world. It is saturated in our culture to serial date with no purpose or with no trust in God. From social dating sites to pressure from family to television shows and rom-com movies, dating is the thing to do, so when you decide not to date, people think you're a cynic or you're depressed or you don't believe in love. And SEX?!?!?! I don't even have to go there. Just the mere fact that the word "sexy" is so ingrained in our culture that it can be equated to "beautiful" is beyond me. Beauty=sexual attraction. Disrespectful.

I know a good amount of people who are intentionally waiting. But not many honestly. I would like to know more. Both men and women. But especially men. Women would like to know and be assured of the fact that their future husband is possibly waiting to meet her and be captivated by her spirit alone.

What I'd like to leave you with is this: don't just wait and not do anything about it. Use this time to fall madly in love with Christ. Above all things, He will ALWAYS be our groom. He deserves our heart much more than an earthly husband or wife. Serve Him crazily. Make this period of singleness worth it. It IS A GIFT. It is cherished by God. DON'T LET THE WORLD TELL YOU OTHERWISE. And for those who feel like they will never marry, REJOICE!!! God wants you fully focused on Him then, and possibly, His plans for you are so big that a married man or woman cannot accomplish them because they must be a quality spouse. That's a blessing that not many people receive. It is a precious jewel. Bask in its beauty with awe, and take extreme care of it.

I love you all, and I pray that God is glorified with my responses and testimony. I pray that the Holy Spirit draws you nearer to Him, and that you pursue Christ with your whole heart before pursuing your bride or being pursued by your husband. God bless!

Sarah Again....

I feel like a lot of these stories speak for themselves, so I’m not trying to write a book here…but after reading these you have got to see that there are people waiting or wished they would have waited if not for marriage at least for love. Soul ties are real people. You don’t want one with the wrong person. I don’t know maybe you do but I know I DON’T.

Sex is something sacred sure, but so is everything else that goes along with it. The love, the smiles, the laughs, the whispers, the holding of hands. A friend once told me while she was tearing up, “Sarah people don’t even see the beauty of holding hands anymore.” Ever since then that’s all I notice. The way someone is connected to your pulse, and that way you are trusting someone to hold your identity (i.e. your fingerprints) I KNOW RIGHT…sorry I’m a weirdo. But yea the bible says in Proverbs 4:23 “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.” That means that both guys and girls should be protecting their hearts and also if we are truly trying to be like Christ the hearts of the one we are courting/dating out of respect and love.

There is beauty in the little things. I challenge you to search for them; you won’t have to look hard. God is so perfect and amazing that he thought out every single detail and created every beautiful thing. That’s right, that means holding hands…he created that. So give Him thanks and just trust that he has the perfect amazing ending for you if you are willing to trust Him completely. 

The Youth of Today On Waiting Guys Edition

When I went to write this blog I was actually sad. Because no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t think of a Christian guy I knew that was waiting or even a virgin. But as I thought about it longer I realized I knew guys who were virgins, they just weren’t Christian and if there are non Christian guys waiting there has to be Christian guys out there waiting, so thus began my search But as I went on my search I realized I didn’t care if they were waiting or Christian I just wanted to hear people’s stories. So in these surveys are a plethora of people from all over the place with different stories and views.
I apologize for the unequal amount of guys versus girls. But I am one of those girls that believes that girls can be friends with guys, so it just happened that way.
Don't forget to comment, subscribe, share, and pray.
This is exactly what I sent out to these brave individuals.

GUYS


#1
How would you define waiting?
Waiting until you feel comfortable enough to exercise your right to utilize your reproductive organs (and associated orifices) for pleasure/children. This could be determined by your involvement in religion or simply your free will; it shouldn’t matter to the rest of the world.
Have you chosen to wait? Why or why not?
Nope. It was more of a late bloomer thing. Call me hormonal, call me teen, call me sinner... doesn’t matter. I wanted to exercise said right when the opportunity presented itself in a comfortable and morally-righteous manner that made me and the person reach that point. Can’t say it happened in those exact parameters, but nothing is set in stone.
Do you regret your decision thus far?
No. In my case, I felt it a necessary step that taught me a lot about myself and how I handle certain situations surrounding such an action.
Do you think waiting would strengthen someone’s relationship with God as well as their partner?
Sure, in a religious context. If chastity and purity are strong pieces in your belief set, then achieving such a point in your faith and fortitude can not only improve your relationship with God but truly serve as a test of the relationship as well. A decent amount of people don’t think along these wavelengths… if this proves true in your case, then it can serve as an indicator for other values that don’t match with your partner. Although many can choose to disagree, it’s still a factor nonetheless.
Would you want your children to wait?
If it were up to me completely, I think I would to save the dramatics for a prolonged period until they were ready to handle such intricacies. In reality, I would just prepare them for the world I can’t keep them completely sheltered from in all the ways that count (i.e. “birds and the bees”, personal sex ed, providing birth control, fielding all questions, etc.).
Would you want to marry someone who has waited or who has not waited?
I don’t think it’s that big of a factor in marrying someone because sex would be a product regardless, but someone who hasn’t for the sake of the question.
How would you describe your future wife?
Someone who’s intellectual, artistic, and in possession of a sense of humor. She has to be comfortable with herself and her own sense of beauty both physical and internal regardless of what others think. Someone who can love me for my qualities and my flaws. Someone who can support me when I need it and call me out on bullshit as well.
Why do you think people wait?
People wait for reasons primarily regarding either their religious beliefs, their personal and emotional connections with themselves and others, and as a simple method of avoiding many elements of the drama the world can provide through romance and sexuality.
Do you think waiting is accepted?
I think society takes steps to demonize it through calling it a prudish or stuck-up state of being, or attempting to implicate fear or softness in someone who chooses not to by saying one isn’t a “real” man or woman until such rite of passage has passed one by. (Personally, I hate that shit and what it does to people. Me included. That’s that shit I don’t like.) All in all, I think it is a very acceptable thing despite such efforts since the reasoning is so present and obvious in a time where STI rates are sky high, teen pregnancy is a real possibility for anyone, and the countermovement against societal pushes to embrace your sexual freedom in your youth to the point of reckless abandon.
Do you know anyone who’s waiting or has waited?
Yup. She’s beautiful and doing an awesome job so far. I find it admirable, honestly… says the horny schoolboy.
Any further thoughts on waiting?
If you do, do so for as long as you feel comfortable. You are the primary factor and the decider.
If you don’t, be safe. Obviously. And don’t rush into it for the wrong reasons.


#2
I would define waiting as restraining from having sex until a time where you feel comfortable with and close enough to, a person with whom you would want to share that experience with. Most of the time it is when you are waiting for love or marriage.


I decided not to wait. I chose not to wait for a couple of reasons but mainly because it was just spontaneous and at a time when I felt that I was ready and mature enough to handle it. Also I felt that I liked the person and trusted them enough to do that with them. I really felt that in order to continue to let our relationship grow and really get closer to see if we had a future it was necessary. I didn’t view it as some big life changing experience that had to happen at the perfect time because of the way I was raised. I think I thought of it as something that I felt the urge to do so I decided to experience it instead of continuing to wonder and hold myself back.


As of right I now I am both regretful and thankful for the decision. My only regret is that I didn’t love the person who I did it with my first time. I was still in love with a previous girlfriend and I regret now putting myself and her in that position when I now realize there was no future in it for us, which I believe ultimately led to me hurting her. I didn’t care enough about her at that time to take that step, which later led to a lot of drama. If I had loved her there would have been no regrets and it would have been something I would have been a lot happier with and I feel like that would have brought us closer.


I admire people who wait. I recognize that those people are very strong willed and seem to know what they want, which is good. I only question that decision when they choose it because of other reasons besides what they want. They shouldn’t say that just to sound good or because other people told them to. If you want to do it, as long as it is your decision and you are mature enough and ready to commit to that person at least somewhat. To much can happen for you not to be. They should feel the same toward you.
I think that waiting can strengthen your relationship with God, but only if done for the right reasons. It should be something you really feel strongly about because of your relationship with God, not because it sounds good or someone told you it is. If you don’t already have a relationship with God then it won’t matter if you wait.
In terms of your partner yes and no. Yes if you need to build a better mental and emotional connection to them. Ultimately I think a relationship needs to be based on much more than just physical. People should be almost friends before they take it to that level. By waiting until you achieve that you build bonds that are deeper and more meaningful than those from sex. If you already have those connections established I don’t think waiting matters and may hold you back. Physicality is important to so if you don’t have that then your relationship won’t be as strong as it could possibly. Again if you decide to go there just be ready and care about the person on a special level and if thats the case the relationship can only get stronger.


I would want my children to wait as long as they need to. I just would want them to find someone who cares about them and who they care about. I wouldn’t want anything to bad to happen because of them not being ready. I wouldn’t ant them to be pressured into something they ain’t ready for, no matter if they are a boy or girl.




I would appreciate someone who waited but realistically I would want someone who hasn’t. I don’t want someone who basically been with every guy she ever talked to but I would want her to have done just because I want her to be experienced and mature enough to know how to handle a sexual relationship. Marriage is a big step and it ain’t easy so you both have to be fully prepared and know what you want in a partner and spouse. I want them to be ready when they are with me to be with me as I know I expect the same for myself for them. There shouldn’t be that big of an unknown between you if you are going to be together forever. Physicality is important to a healthy marriage in my mind so you have to be prepared for that.


I don’t know how I would describe my future wife just because I don’t know whats going to happen tomorrow. Things change I just know I have to be attracted to her physically, but just as important emotionally and mentally. If the only way I can stand to be around them is if we are having sex then thats a problem. We gotta be able to chill and talk fluidly. We have to be able to enjoy being around each other and have fun and joke when we are. She also has to be spiritual. And she just have to have love for me and recognize and appreciate the man I am and try to be for her.


I think people mainly wait because they don’t know enough about sex and may be scared or they believe its the right thing to do based on the way their family is or religion. Also a lot of people believe in love (more girls than guys), and they want to wait until they find it.


I don’t think in today’s society waiting is accepted. The media, popular culture, and peers put constant pressure on people to have sex. Some people may begin to feel wrong about not having sex like something is wrong with them, which isn’t true. Its become something that is expected, which I think is probably not a good thing. I know a couple of people who are waiting or have waited. Mostly friends and some family. They are also mostly girls. Of the guys one is waiting until marriage and the others just decided while they get girls they ain’t going to hit because they can but instead find someone they really like first.


#3
1. Waiting for me is when you chose to be abstinent until you meet the right person or you get married, also when your in a relationship, waiting for trust and love to develop before getting intimate.


2.Yes.


3.I want to say whole heartedly that the girl I lost my virginity to was one I truly loved and was attracted to.


4.A little, only because of the constant pressure from peers, friends, and even family.


5. I respect them if they are the type of people who have been in the position to and don't because of their own morals/beliefs.


6.Yes, I think it allows a uncomplicated friendship to develop and a basic respect level for both parties, no one really wants to date a hoe. For God I'm not sure because even though it is a sin to have sex before marriage, I believe he'll love us even if we do, its not like you are causing harm to someone or yourself, you want to show that person how grateful you are for them.


7.Sons no, daughters yes, but if my daughters do, I'd rather it be when they can support a child and they are with a good partner financially and genetically.


8.No, I'd like her to get her urges and sexual fantasies out of the way so she wouldn't be curious, regretful, and resentful later on in our relationship.


9.Shes's going to look just like Tae Heckard... personality I would like her to be chill, loving, hard working, family oriented but still has a job, a little naggy because I'm lazy, artistic, tolerant, mature but still kind of goofy, not selfish, loyal, smart, good at arguing(I like a challenge), a great cook, automobile savy, from a family with money, good at sports but she is not buff, understanding, and pretty funny.


10. They want to have a good virginity loss story, I know I want to say I lost it to someone I truly love and respect, so I want be ashamed or regret losing it. Or morals/fear


11.No, not at all in our modern society, waiting is publicly admirable, privately mocked. Status comes with losing it early, no one waits anymore.


12.Yes, I know a few people waiting, but I don't know anyone who has waited till marriage younger than my grandparents.


13.NOPE
#4
I have chosen to wait!
I chose to wait at first because thats what my beliefs told me then I didn't wait and I think that ruined me because I know that I want a family one day and I wanna tell my future wife that I did my best to wait for her because even before i knew her i loved her.
I don't regret my decision! It's hard but it's worth it. no heartbreak.
It would definitely strengthen their relationship because it keeps them focused on Him.
I commend "waiters." its hard, but when i see that they're doing it (or did it) i know i can.
I want my children to wait. I truly believe it'll save them heartbreak.
Since i didn't wait, it sounds hypocritical but i would want someone who waited. but since I'm in my situation i know i'd consider someone who didn't. If anything, it's a game time decision on how well they're chasing God.
My future wife, bottom line, is running hard after God and loves Him more than me.
People wait for their beliefs or because their experiences lead them to that conclusion.
It's socially frowned upon I'd say.
I know someone who waited so much, he didn't even kiss his wife until they were married.
further thoughts: WAIT!!! you'll feel better.


#5
Waiting is devoting yourself to remain abstinent and free of anything you feel you are not ready for.
No, not at all. I have not chosen to wait, in fact I plan on getting some very soon!
I chose not to wait simply because i'm ok with doing it now, and i'm comfortable with that.
No I do not regret my decision!
I think People that wait have a very strong will. I mean at least they know what they want right? I'd hope that they don't have any regrets.
I don't really think your decision about that should effect your religious morals, but i'm not really connected with religion so i don't think my opinion is that important there. Also i think it depends on who your partner is when it comes to strengthening the relationship. Some people need that physical pleasure to remain interested!
My Children don't need to wait, they just need to be smart!
I don't mind whether or not my future husband or wife has waited. Its best not to think about their past, personally i think that's just asking for trouble.
My future wife has to be the most beautiful woman, with minimum sex experience! I don't want a woman who has been in and out the sheets, it's not going to work.
I think people wait so that they won't regret who they have been with later on. They save it for that special person.
Yes I think waiting is accepted, not by everyone, but by most people.
Actually I don't know anyone who is waiting or has waited!
#6
1. Waiting to me is seeking to be completely satisfied in Christ and using your singleness for His glory. In that time, you are patiently waiting for God to unite you with the one He has for you to marry and also preparing yourself for your next season in life as a single.


2. Yes I have chosen to wait


3. I chose this because I know that my body is not my own and it was bought at a price (1 Cor. 6:18-20) and I know my self worth an value in Christ. Although I have not fully lived up to this standard and have compromised in different way I continue to seek to be pure not only in "waiting" for marital sex but also in the mind and with my eyes.


4. No I do not regret this decision. I regret times when I was disobedient and compromised my purity many times and sinning against my Lord myself & the person I sinned with. It leaves scars and damages us in ways we wouldn't have to experience at all if we didn't/don't believe the lie of the culture that says sex will satisfy. BUT IT DOESN'T!


5. Many people wait for different reasons. But if they are doing it out of fear or shame or because they don't wont to get an STD or pregnant or something, then that is the wrong motive. I too have been one of those people and ultimately its about self preservation and not about bring God glory, which is sinful. The bible tells us that "So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God" 1 Cor 10:31 or "And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him" Col 3:17. All that I do should be for His glory. I think that those who are waiting are being obedient (if for the right reasons) to God and will find their satisfaction in Him and will not regret it. I want a fresh new car to drive off the lot and not a hooptie! LBS You feel me?!


6. Yes I do. There will always be temptation. But its worth the wait.


7. Of course I would want them to wait. ESPECIALLY my daughters if I have any who will wait until they are 35 LOL jk. naw but really!


8. I would prefer for my wife to have waited but I understand that we all are sinful and have made bad decisions. But as long as she is seeking to be pure when I pursue her, her past doesn't matter to me.


9. MINES! LOL... oh and she hates sin too!


10. Same as number 5.


11. I think people who are mature respect other people who make that decision and give them props even (now that I'm older that is). Its not like this is the high school locker room after gym class where everybody is spilling out they business and embellishing stories like "Yea I hit that!" But then again, some people are still in that mindset so I digress. It depends on who you're around I guess.


12. Yes I do for both
13. Waiting is can be very difficult, but that's why it is good to stay around other believers in biblical community and to stay in prayer with accountability partners you can be transparent with & vice versa. Not to mention to constantly stay in your word because that is your guide. And lastly set boundaries for yourself. Even in relationships, you know your weak points and when you are hot, horny and want it, so don't call whoever and get the help you need in your time of weakness
so you don't act out.


Sarah again... 
I feel like a lot of these stories speak for themselves, so I’m not trying to write a book here…but after reading these you have got to see that there are people waiting or wished they would have waited if not for marriage at least for love. Soul ties are real people. You don’t want one with the wrong person. I don’t know maybe you do but I know I DON’T.
Sex is something sacred sure, but so is everything else that goes along with it. The love, the smiles, the laughs, the whispers, the holding of hands. A friend once told me while she was tearing up, “Sarah people don’t even see the beauty of holding hands anymore.” Ever since then that’s all I notice. The way someone is connected to your pulse, and that way you are trusting someone to hold your identity (i.e. your fingerprints) I KNOW RIGHT…sorry I’m a weirdo. But yea the bible says in Proverbs 4:23 “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.” That means that both guys and girls should be protecting their hearts and also if we are truly trying to be like Christ the hearts of the one we are courting/dating out of respect and love.

There is beauty in the little things. I challenge you to search for them; you won’t have to look hard. God is so perfect and amazing that he thought out every single detail and created every beautiful thing. That’s right, that means holding hands…he created that. So give Him thanks and just trust that he has the perfect amazing ending for you if you are willing to trust Him completely and let Him come first. You have to be in love....with God. It's awesome.

ALL MY SINGLE PEOPLE SCREAM!

Who doesn't love T.V.? Don't lie to me. You love it. We all spend our afternoons, late-nights, maybe even some mornings watching T.V.. Point is T.V. takes up a lot of our time. My favorite thing to occupy the talk box with are trashy reality t.v. shows (like do people act like that in REAL life), like you can ask my friends on my campus when my show is on I'm OUT! I would run to my room or the nearest T.V. and just do me.  My newest guilty pleasure is Single Ladies. I was initially interested in the show due to the title obviously. Single Ladies. My life. Or so I thought.   I thought Single Ladies was created to make single women feel free and confident in themselves and lifestyles. But as I continued watching the show, like the faithful T.V. viewer that I am, I saw otherwise.

I thought that Single Ladies would be about loving the single lifestyle featuring successful, beautiful, and great women. I was right...kinda. The show does feature successful business women which is important in this day and age. It sends out the message for young ladies and women to strive for more ambitious careers as well as the education to go along which I am a strong advocate of. Also on the show is good character exemplifying the power of friendship and loyalty which is very important to a young lady. If not for friends and loyalty I don't know where I'd be and the women on the show do a great job of highlighting how important those qualities are.

PLUS THE CLOTHES ON THAT SHOW ARE FIRE.

However what are all of those qualities if you are not happy with your lifestyle? Single Ladies markets to single women and women in general using the fact that these characters are successful, beautiful, and great SINGLE LADIES. But, on the show instead of enjoying or being content with their single life they spend the majority of the episodes seeking out men to date, dating men, and sleeping with men; seldom are these women in a long term relationship. What does that ultimately communicate to the unsuspecting watcher (yeah right)? That these women are not okay with being single. And that's okay...because a lot of time people who are single don't start out being happy that they are.

Being single is a blessing from God, not something you should run away from.

Wow. That sentence has brought up all the times I myself have doubted my blessing. I spent a lot of time pining away after no one and anyone. I felt like my heart had all this love in it and I was so ready to love someone that I was just so frustrated that I was single. I would talk to my friends (who weren't single of course) and they would be like, "Sarah blah blah blah blah." I really can't tell you what they said except it was some variation of  *cue Disney music* "someday your prince will come," it's really hard to hear that over and over again. I know. I keep hearing it and it doesn't get easier unless you use that love you have and really sit down and have a relationship with God.

Blah blah blah blah. I've heard this before. No seriously. (hahaha Seriously Sarah is serious) But forreal. use that time you often you thinking or daydreaming about the man of your dreams or that boy you wish would talk to you and try to focus all of that TIME and energy on God. The time has to be there. God will be your focus and guide you. That's how I started this blog. For now that is my assignment that I will do with a gracious heart.

In the bible there are REAL single ladies that gave glory to God while living in their singleness. The most popular single lady in the old testament... Ruth (story can be found in the book of Ruth). When discussing Ruth I would like to emphasis the LADY. Ruth was kindhearted, loyal, gentle, and obedient to both Naomi (her mother-in-law) and God. Ruth was supposed to take care of Naomi and that was what she was doing, with a PLEASANT spirit. Ruth even followed Naomi to where her family was, leaving behind her own she was literally chasing after God and her assignment. Then after which Ruth listen to Naomi and was blessed with Boaz (aka BOOaz). Meaning while we’re waiting on God we are to do his work with a pleasant spirit.

Another brief example of a single lady in the bible is Lydia ( Acts 16 ). Paul had a vision of a man letting his into his house, the man in Paul’s vision turns out to actually be Lydia who owned her own house and let them stay with her. She was doing God’s work AND running things! How bout that for a successful single lady! Read about her. Look up to her she had to love her life and God for her to be used in such a way by the Lord.

THERE ARE SINGLE CONTENT MEN TOO! JEREMIAH. Check him out in the book of Jeremiah. He’s awesome. But yeahh…

There are single ladies happy with their lives out there. They’re just a little harder to find. Plus everyone is human and craves attention but so many times do we forget that the attention we want and need is ready for us to take it. God is always WAITING. He waits for us to spend time with him so he can give us that attention we want so bad. I know I want it. So chase after Him and be open with God, try and make a list of things that make you happy, spend time with positive people, and smile more let’s see how happy and content we can all be because believe me that’s what I’m trying to do.

Please keep me in your prayers as well as the blog. Subscribe, share, comment, and pray lovelies. Stay tuned for "The Youth of Today on Waiting" Girls and Guys edition. I'm surveying all types of people religious and non on their viewpoints.

As I Wait For You

I remember going to a concert when I was like twelve or eleven, maybe I was ten. Somewhere in those tweenage years...I went to a Rebecca St. James concert. I left there with this ring, around it inscribed were the words, "As I Wait For You." I didn't really understand much about the symbol, only "don't have sex." Somewhere along the years I lost the ring...but never the message behind it, even if I didn't fully understand what it meant at the time.

"As I Wait For You." Meaning a specific person, someone who is meant for me. I am waiting not on an imaginary person but someone real. Most of the time though, its hard to remember that when you're around your friends who are having all of these guys in and out their lives. I know that I'm waiting on a certain man, sometimes I imagine him. I even wrote a poem about this mystery man. (Actually multiple poems....but I'm only posting one and its an excerpt)

"His lips will say my name like a prayer to God
Of thanks, not a secret to the Savior,
Rather a testimony
Of where he was and where he is.
His skin will be soothing
Reminding one of the beauties they take for granted every day.
Hot chocolate—
How a sip can warm you in a blizzard.
A pencil—
How everything is sketched in black, white, and grey
And is still beautiful.
His hands will hold all my secrets
Callouses gripping onto me
So that I can feel him where ever I am.
His fingertips will trace secret initials onto scalp
So he will always be on my mind.
He will teach me
He will learn me
I will never stop losing myself in his mosaic mind.
He will be worth waiting for
a poem
I wrote in faith a long time ago."

See I have decided to have a standard, I literally have a list of qualities I want in a guy. I'm open to give or take but I can't compromise on the type of love I want.. This poem is about love. I have been guarding my heart for 19 years. Like I'm 19 and have never had a boyfriend. Some people think I'm crazy but I don't plan on dating without the intention of marriage. I don't see the point. And believe me even though I'm sounding reaaaaal confident in the previous sentences. It gets so hard. I try to remind myself that I am waiting on a specific man of God. But waiting when you're in college ain't cute. Youth pastors never tell you that part. The point is waiting isn't just about not having sex, it's about guarding your heart and soul for the love God whats you to have. You cannot compromise on that.

I've only taken one guy seriously enough to even consider dating and I regret that. I was in a rough place in life....typical right? (This not my testimony though, that's for another blog) My mom didn't approve, my best friends who are Christians didn't approve, and my best friends who aren't even spiritual didn't approve. But I was so sure that he was meant for me that I was going out of my way to please him, when in the bible men go out of their way for the women they want.

But it's my fault. I let myself see what I wanted to see, instead of what God wanted for me. My mom recently did a teaching on Lot and how in a wicked generation (Gen. 11-14 and chapter 19) he was able to pick out the men of God. I need to be able to have Lot's vision and discern who is a man of God when approached by guys in this generation. That means I have to be approached by a man of God and pray about whether or not he is really about that life. It means I cannot be out here desperate. I have to be content in my singleness, and as of now I can say I truly am. I haven't always been though, and I'm content for now but when winter comes along and everyones coupled up I might be praying to God for a spirit of joy. But at least I'll be putting my energy into a God who has never forsaken me.

Really, it starts and ends with prayer; just talking to God. Also reminding yourself of what you want... make a list, make a couple lists; heck anything to encourage yourself that there is a person out there worth waiting for. But here is a song if you ever need encouragement to remind yourself that you aren't alone in this whole life waiting thing. Also subscribe, comment, and please be on the look out for "The Youth of Today on Waiting" Girls and Guys edition. I'm surveying all types of people religious and non on their viewpoints.

Ill stay with Grease Lightning!

I drive a 1995 Toyota Corolla, its gray and it's name is Grease Lightning. It has survived some really rough times, like REALLY ROUGH. There was a fire in the car before I got it, the door handle came off so I get in with a wire my grandpa put on the door, there is no fabric or cushioning on the top of my car, there are dents, and it is all mine. As much as I love my baby I really want drive my moms car. She drives this big new truck that rides so smooth. Plus the truck has air conditioning, which during these summer months is like a miracle to me driving to work I feel like I'm dying sometimes

There has been multiple times where I had a valid excuse to use the car, but my mom is not having it! It has really made me evaluate the way she sees me. Like does she NOT think I'm responsible? Am I not awesome enough? I don't know. It's crazy. But whatever I can't drive her car. I'll get over it.

I sometimes feel like life without sex is like driving my rundown car while everyone is passing me by in these shiny smooth-riding cars. I WANT TO DRIVE A SHINY NEW CAR! Anyone waiting does, and those who say they don't are playing you.I feel like I can handle driving a new car, I know how not to get into accidents... but on the road anything can happen. I never thought about it this way, but maybe it isn't that my mom does not believe in my driving skills rather she is worried about the way other people drive. Accidents happen all the time and unlike a car your heart can't just go pop into the shop and get fixed in a half hour. Sex is a scary thing. Dating is a scary thing. Its like driving. People swerve into your lane who aren't supposed to be there and almost cause head on collisions. When there's liquor involved forget it, its just a bad idea!

I talk about sex with a lot of my friends; and one of them, well she was waiting but then she fell in love. To say the least she decided to not wait. She ended totaling her car (whoa that sounds like she got physically hurt...she was physically fine people). Her heart was in shreds. The man she trusted herself with confirmed her fears insulting her lack of skill. That was not love and I will never forget the heart break that girl endured. I remember a couple of weeks ago I took my best friend to my church and she and my mom were telling me, "If you don't remember anything else Sarah its that the heart is deceiving."

Your heart wants to be used and its ready to love and be loved. But your heart can lie to you, because your heart is not the deciding factor, God's will is.

Sometimes I think about my wedding night, I even joke about it with my friends how I'll probably be hyperventilating the entire time; but really I'm scared about me messing up. Sometimes I used that to back up why God has me waiting. But I'm realizing that it is not because I am scared ( not that I'm fearless either ) that God has me waiting. Because as one of my friends reminded me a couple weeks ago, "Fear does not come from God Sarah you know that." That is completely true, sometimes I forget and scream during a scary movie but fear is not of God. I cannot fear or doubt my blessing that the Lord has waiting for me. Because God's plan is too perfect and too awesome for that.

God has my brand new car out there. Somewhere. Until then I'm not driving (in the sex lane that is) because the road is a dangerous place. There are speed bumps that mess up your bumpers, people who cut you off, and accidents. I'm waiting for my smooth ride. The kind that I'd road trip with forever. In Psalms 130:5 the bible says,"I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope." It says in His word I put my hope. I am using the energy and time I'd use on guys on God. I am learning Him and reading His word and putting faith into it. So I'll be waiting with Grease Lightning hoping that somehow the air conditioner starts working if not I'll just wait on that too, I'm bout that waiting life y'all. Are you?

I really wanted to post Jesus Take the Wheel but I just laughed in my house so loud at the idea...I couldn't bring myself to do that to you guys. Instead a song that has been ministering to me for months, "Our God" by Chris Tomlin

Whatever for kicks...

I Don't Regret

So this is a blog... I have never considered writing one before but you know what? I feel like I am not the only one out there going through this. What is this you might ask? Waiting.

What  is so special about me waiting that I have to write a blog about it? Nothing and everything. Sometimes it is the difference between having a relationship or being the fifth wheel hanging out with friends. I have been waiting. Somehow through it all I am still waiting and most times I find myself wondering why? How long am I going to be able to keep this up? My go to answer is God. I believe that with every fiber of my being. It was all part of his plan (God, do You think next time You could let a girl get the memo that she will not be the girl getting all the guys with her chasted ways?)I will be on this blog talking about how I am waiting and how is it so very difficult. LIKE REALLY HARD. But anyway I will be on here discussing how waiting affects me, the trials I face, and how I am finding God in all of this.

Tonight I was on YOUtube just listening to Christian  music and I came across a Barlowgirl song called "I Don't Regret", everyone always has an opinion on sex. People shouldn't have it. People should have sex. Guys want sex. Girls want sex. People will have sex and die and go to hell. Whatever, I always felt like I didn't have an opinion; I accept everyone the way they are and what they do. I love the sinner and hate the sin, because no matter what we are all sinners. But apparently, me waiting SCREAMS that I have an opinion so I guess my stance is that God will take care of me. That I have faith that I am taken care of. Believe me I want sex. I just want it to be with the man I will love for the rest of my life and who will love me for the rest of his life. I want a man who can love me with the love of Christ and for me that moment where youre on your honeymoon, that Notebook kissing scene (you know the one I'm talking about), and  that dancing the first dance as man and wife are just for one moment. They are supposed to last a lifetime.

I know right I'm 19 talking about a lifetime. Well, I mean I'm just sayin' it is hard out here waiting. IT IS SO HARD. But sometimes reading the word of God and reading devotionals really help me get close to God because as much as I'd love to have a man God is and should be the number one man in my life.