Thursday, July 12, 2012
I Don't Regret
So this is a blog... I have never considered writing one before but you know what? I feel like I am not the only one out there going through this. What is this you might ask? Waiting.
What is so special about me waiting that I have to write a blog about it? Nothing and everything. Sometimes it is the difference between having a relationship or being the fifth wheel hanging out with friends. I have been waiting. Somehow through it all I am still waiting and most times I find myself wondering why? How long am I going to be able to keep this up? My go to answer is God. I believe that with every fiber of my being. It was all part of his plan (God, do You think next time You could let a girl get the memo that she will not be the girl getting all the guys with her chasted ways?)I will be on this blog talking about how I am waiting and how is it so very difficult. LIKE REALLY HARD. But anyway I will be on here discussing how waiting affects me, the trials I face, and how I am finding God in all of this.
Tonight I was on YOUtube just listening to Christian music and I came across a Barlowgirl song called "I Don't Regret", everyone always has an opinion on sex. People shouldn't have it. People should have sex. Guys want sex. Girls want sex. People will have sex and die and go to hell. Whatever, I always felt like I didn't have an opinion; I accept everyone the way they are and what they do. I love the sinner and hate the sin, because no matter what we are all sinners. But apparently, me waiting SCREAMS that I have an opinion so I guess my stance is that God will take care of me. That I have faith that I am taken care of. Believe me I want sex. I just want it to be with the man I will love for the rest of my life and who will love me for the rest of his life. I want a man who can love me with the love of Christ and for me that moment where youre on your honeymoon, that Notebook kissing scene (you know the one I'm talking about), and that dancing the first dance as man and wife are just for one moment. They are supposed to last a lifetime.
I know right I'm 19 talking about a lifetime. Well, I mean I'm just sayin' it is hard out here waiting. IT IS SO HARD. But sometimes reading the word of God and reading devotionals really help me get close to God because as much as I'd love to have a man God is and should be the number one man in my life.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
i understand completely. im 19 as well and am waiting til marriage... actually didnt date until 17(off in college)(so of course i too went through the whole 5th wheel or being the only one in the group not dating but didnt mind because i was sticking to waiting--anyway) and that was a young man that i was really good friends with and eventually became my bf none the less i still stuck to my word in waiting and keeping my virginity unshamefully because that what i believe in.. surely sometimes you wonder "okaaay God, exactly how long is this wait is again" but im learning in my case to stand still and stick with it inspite of because it's reason and a plan behind everything that God does. and ive kinda discovered what that is ... however aside from my biblical reasons for waiting til marriage i think its a better choice to take in relationships because sex is more that just sex the action it's an emotional and soul-tie... so many emotions and others things come along with 2 ppl committing those actions than what is noticed right away ...although sex is something that guys and girls want that doesn't mean that's something that we should have right now or rather outside of the institution of marriage...
ReplyDeleteYou do not understand how much this is helping me! Keep writing, PLEASE!. I am waiting to, I am 19 years old, never had a boyfriend, and I am still a full fledge virgin (no anal, oral, or vaginal nothing!) At first it was easy because i was a tomboy and heavy set but once I lost the weight, all of that changed! 1 year ago, my Pastor for 8 years asked me to do sexual favors for him and I was lost. I hated men, I hated God, I hated everything. I was convinced I was supposed to be gay, my father died when I was three, the only man I had in my life was my little brother and my gay best friend. I feared all men and that included God. This summer, like a month ago God got me! He spoke to me and asked me if I would be both his daughter and girlfriend and I was like, Uhhhh Yea! (After a lot of screaming and fussing and complaining) Now God is showing me what love is, perfect love has no fear and I am trying to understand that because I have fear about all the men around, I kind of hate them because I think they are going to die on me or try to have sex with me. But God hasn't done me wrong, everyday he is showing me love and forming a man who can love me with the love of the Lord.! Please keep this up! God bless and Thanks!=)
ReplyDelete