There has been multiple times where I had a valid excuse to use the car, but my mom is not having it! It has really made me evaluate the way she sees me. Like does she NOT think I'm responsible? Am I not awesome enough? I don't know. It's crazy. But whatever I can't drive her car. I'll get over it.
I sometimes feel like life without sex is like driving my rundown car while everyone is passing me by in these shiny smooth-riding cars. I WANT TO DRIVE A SHINY NEW CAR! Anyone waiting does, and those who say they don't are playing you.I feel like I can handle driving a new car, I know how not to get into accidents... but on the road anything can happen. I never thought about it this way, but maybe it isn't that my mom does not believe in my driving skills rather she is worried about the way other people drive. Accidents happen all the time and unlike a car your heart can't just go pop into the shop and get fixed in a half hour. Sex is a scary thing. Dating is a scary thing. Its like driving. People swerve into your lane who aren't supposed to be there and almost cause head on collisions. When there's liquor involved forget it, its just a bad idea!
I talk about sex with a lot of my friends; and one of them, well she was waiting but then she fell in love. To say the least she decided to not wait. She ended totaling her car (whoa that sounds like she got physically hurt...she was physically fine people). Her heart was in shreds. The man she trusted herself with confirmed her fears insulting her lack of skill. That was not love and I will never forget the heart break that girl endured. I remember a couple of weeks ago I took my best friend to my church and she and my mom were telling me, "If you don't remember anything else Sarah its that the heart is deceiving."
Your heart wants to be used and its ready to love and be loved. But your heart can lie to you, because your heart is not the deciding factor, God's will is.
Sometimes I think about my wedding night, I even joke about it with my friends how I'll probably be hyperventilating the entire time; but really I'm scared about me messing up. Sometimes I used that to back up why God has me waiting. But I'm realizing that it is not because I am scared ( not that I'm fearless either ) that God has me waiting. Because as one of my friends reminded me a couple weeks ago, "Fear does not come from God Sarah you know that." That is completely true, sometimes I forget and scream during a scary movie but fear is not of God. I cannot fear or doubt my blessing that the Lord has waiting for me. Because God's plan is too perfect and too awesome for that.
God has my brand new car out there. Somewhere. Until then I'm not driving (in the sex lane that is) because the road is a dangerous place. There are speed bumps that mess up your bumpers, people who cut you off, and accidents. I'm waiting for my smooth ride. The kind that I'd road trip with forever. In Psalms 130:5 the bible says,"I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope." It says in His word I put my hope. I am using the energy and time I'd use on guys on God. I am learning Him and reading His word and putting faith into it. So I'll be waiting with Grease Lightning hoping that somehow the air conditioner starts working if not I'll just wait on that too, I'm bout that waiting life y'all. Are you?
Loved this post! I can totally relate, waiting is so worth it...especially when you're waiting on that shiny new car from God (husband lol). I appreciate your way of describing the wait, very clever and refreshing. God bless you, stay faithful to grease lightning and God! :-) You can check out my blog if you'd like:
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Thanks Dany! I will :)
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