The Youth of Today On Waiting Guys Edition

When I went to write this blog I was actually sad. Because no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t think of a Christian guy I knew that was waiting or even a virgin. But as I thought about it longer I realized I knew guys who were virgins, they just weren’t Christian and if there are non Christian guys waiting there has to be Christian guys out there waiting, so thus began my search But as I went on my search I realized I didn’t care if they were waiting or Christian I just wanted to hear people’s stories. So in these surveys are a plethora of people from all over the place with different stories and views.
I apologize for the unequal amount of guys versus girls. But I am one of those girls that believes that girls can be friends with guys, so it just happened that way.
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This is exactly what I sent out to these brave individuals.

GUYS


#1
How would you define waiting?
Waiting until you feel comfortable enough to exercise your right to utilize your reproductive organs (and associated orifices) for pleasure/children. This could be determined by your involvement in religion or simply your free will; it shouldn’t matter to the rest of the world.
Have you chosen to wait? Why or why not?
Nope. It was more of a late bloomer thing. Call me hormonal, call me teen, call me sinner... doesn’t matter. I wanted to exercise said right when the opportunity presented itself in a comfortable and morally-righteous manner that made me and the person reach that point. Can’t say it happened in those exact parameters, but nothing is set in stone.
Do you regret your decision thus far?
No. In my case, I felt it a necessary step that taught me a lot about myself and how I handle certain situations surrounding such an action.
Do you think waiting would strengthen someone’s relationship with God as well as their partner?
Sure, in a religious context. If chastity and purity are strong pieces in your belief set, then achieving such a point in your faith and fortitude can not only improve your relationship with God but truly serve as a test of the relationship as well. A decent amount of people don’t think along these wavelengths… if this proves true in your case, then it can serve as an indicator for other values that don’t match with your partner. Although many can choose to disagree, it’s still a factor nonetheless.
Would you want your children to wait?
If it were up to me completely, I think I would to save the dramatics for a prolonged period until they were ready to handle such intricacies. In reality, I would just prepare them for the world I can’t keep them completely sheltered from in all the ways that count (i.e. “birds and the bees”, personal sex ed, providing birth control, fielding all questions, etc.).
Would you want to marry someone who has waited or who has not waited?
I don’t think it’s that big of a factor in marrying someone because sex would be a product regardless, but someone who hasn’t for the sake of the question.
How would you describe your future wife?
Someone who’s intellectual, artistic, and in possession of a sense of humor. She has to be comfortable with herself and her own sense of beauty both physical and internal regardless of what others think. Someone who can love me for my qualities and my flaws. Someone who can support me when I need it and call me out on bullshit as well.
Why do you think people wait?
People wait for reasons primarily regarding either their religious beliefs, their personal and emotional connections with themselves and others, and as a simple method of avoiding many elements of the drama the world can provide through romance and sexuality.
Do you think waiting is accepted?
I think society takes steps to demonize it through calling it a prudish or stuck-up state of being, or attempting to implicate fear or softness in someone who chooses not to by saying one isn’t a “real” man or woman until such rite of passage has passed one by. (Personally, I hate that shit and what it does to people. Me included. That’s that shit I don’t like.) All in all, I think it is a very acceptable thing despite such efforts since the reasoning is so present and obvious in a time where STI rates are sky high, teen pregnancy is a real possibility for anyone, and the countermovement against societal pushes to embrace your sexual freedom in your youth to the point of reckless abandon.
Do you know anyone who’s waiting or has waited?
Yup. She’s beautiful and doing an awesome job so far. I find it admirable, honestly… says the horny schoolboy.
Any further thoughts on waiting?
If you do, do so for as long as you feel comfortable. You are the primary factor and the decider.
If you don’t, be safe. Obviously. And don’t rush into it for the wrong reasons.


#2
I would define waiting as restraining from having sex until a time where you feel comfortable with and close enough to, a person with whom you would want to share that experience with. Most of the time it is when you are waiting for love or marriage.


I decided not to wait. I chose not to wait for a couple of reasons but mainly because it was just spontaneous and at a time when I felt that I was ready and mature enough to handle it. Also I felt that I liked the person and trusted them enough to do that with them. I really felt that in order to continue to let our relationship grow and really get closer to see if we had a future it was necessary. I didn’t view it as some big life changing experience that had to happen at the perfect time because of the way I was raised. I think I thought of it as something that I felt the urge to do so I decided to experience it instead of continuing to wonder and hold myself back.


As of right I now I am both regretful and thankful for the decision. My only regret is that I didn’t love the person who I did it with my first time. I was still in love with a previous girlfriend and I regret now putting myself and her in that position when I now realize there was no future in it for us, which I believe ultimately led to me hurting her. I didn’t care enough about her at that time to take that step, which later led to a lot of drama. If I had loved her there would have been no regrets and it would have been something I would have been a lot happier with and I feel like that would have brought us closer.


I admire people who wait. I recognize that those people are very strong willed and seem to know what they want, which is good. I only question that decision when they choose it because of other reasons besides what they want. They shouldn’t say that just to sound good or because other people told them to. If you want to do it, as long as it is your decision and you are mature enough and ready to commit to that person at least somewhat. To much can happen for you not to be. They should feel the same toward you.
I think that waiting can strengthen your relationship with God, but only if done for the right reasons. It should be something you really feel strongly about because of your relationship with God, not because it sounds good or someone told you it is. If you don’t already have a relationship with God then it won’t matter if you wait.
In terms of your partner yes and no. Yes if you need to build a better mental and emotional connection to them. Ultimately I think a relationship needs to be based on much more than just physical. People should be almost friends before they take it to that level. By waiting until you achieve that you build bonds that are deeper and more meaningful than those from sex. If you already have those connections established I don’t think waiting matters and may hold you back. Physicality is important to so if you don’t have that then your relationship won’t be as strong as it could possibly. Again if you decide to go there just be ready and care about the person on a special level and if thats the case the relationship can only get stronger.


I would want my children to wait as long as they need to. I just would want them to find someone who cares about them and who they care about. I wouldn’t want anything to bad to happen because of them not being ready. I wouldn’t ant them to be pressured into something they ain’t ready for, no matter if they are a boy or girl.




I would appreciate someone who waited but realistically I would want someone who hasn’t. I don’t want someone who basically been with every guy she ever talked to but I would want her to have done just because I want her to be experienced and mature enough to know how to handle a sexual relationship. Marriage is a big step and it ain’t easy so you both have to be fully prepared and know what you want in a partner and spouse. I want them to be ready when they are with me to be with me as I know I expect the same for myself for them. There shouldn’t be that big of an unknown between you if you are going to be together forever. Physicality is important to a healthy marriage in my mind so you have to be prepared for that.


I don’t know how I would describe my future wife just because I don’t know whats going to happen tomorrow. Things change I just know I have to be attracted to her physically, but just as important emotionally and mentally. If the only way I can stand to be around them is if we are having sex then thats a problem. We gotta be able to chill and talk fluidly. We have to be able to enjoy being around each other and have fun and joke when we are. She also has to be spiritual. And she just have to have love for me and recognize and appreciate the man I am and try to be for her.


I think people mainly wait because they don’t know enough about sex and may be scared or they believe its the right thing to do based on the way their family is or religion. Also a lot of people believe in love (more girls than guys), and they want to wait until they find it.


I don’t think in today’s society waiting is accepted. The media, popular culture, and peers put constant pressure on people to have sex. Some people may begin to feel wrong about not having sex like something is wrong with them, which isn’t true. Its become something that is expected, which I think is probably not a good thing. I know a couple of people who are waiting or have waited. Mostly friends and some family. They are also mostly girls. Of the guys one is waiting until marriage and the others just decided while they get girls they ain’t going to hit because they can but instead find someone they really like first.


#3
1. Waiting for me is when you chose to be abstinent until you meet the right person or you get married, also when your in a relationship, waiting for trust and love to develop before getting intimate.


2.Yes.


3.I want to say whole heartedly that the girl I lost my virginity to was one I truly loved and was attracted to.


4.A little, only because of the constant pressure from peers, friends, and even family.


5. I respect them if they are the type of people who have been in the position to and don't because of their own morals/beliefs.


6.Yes, I think it allows a uncomplicated friendship to develop and a basic respect level for both parties, no one really wants to date a hoe. For God I'm not sure because even though it is a sin to have sex before marriage, I believe he'll love us even if we do, its not like you are causing harm to someone or yourself, you want to show that person how grateful you are for them.


7.Sons no, daughters yes, but if my daughters do, I'd rather it be when they can support a child and they are with a good partner financially and genetically.


8.No, I'd like her to get her urges and sexual fantasies out of the way so she wouldn't be curious, regretful, and resentful later on in our relationship.


9.Shes's going to look just like Tae Heckard... personality I would like her to be chill, loving, hard working, family oriented but still has a job, a little naggy because I'm lazy, artistic, tolerant, mature but still kind of goofy, not selfish, loyal, smart, good at arguing(I like a challenge), a great cook, automobile savy, from a family with money, good at sports but she is not buff, understanding, and pretty funny.


10. They want to have a good virginity loss story, I know I want to say I lost it to someone I truly love and respect, so I want be ashamed or regret losing it. Or morals/fear


11.No, not at all in our modern society, waiting is publicly admirable, privately mocked. Status comes with losing it early, no one waits anymore.


12.Yes, I know a few people waiting, but I don't know anyone who has waited till marriage younger than my grandparents.


13.NOPE
#4
I have chosen to wait!
I chose to wait at first because thats what my beliefs told me then I didn't wait and I think that ruined me because I know that I want a family one day and I wanna tell my future wife that I did my best to wait for her because even before i knew her i loved her.
I don't regret my decision! It's hard but it's worth it. no heartbreak.
It would definitely strengthen their relationship because it keeps them focused on Him.
I commend "waiters." its hard, but when i see that they're doing it (or did it) i know i can.
I want my children to wait. I truly believe it'll save them heartbreak.
Since i didn't wait, it sounds hypocritical but i would want someone who waited. but since I'm in my situation i know i'd consider someone who didn't. If anything, it's a game time decision on how well they're chasing God.
My future wife, bottom line, is running hard after God and loves Him more than me.
People wait for their beliefs or because their experiences lead them to that conclusion.
It's socially frowned upon I'd say.
I know someone who waited so much, he didn't even kiss his wife until they were married.
further thoughts: WAIT!!! you'll feel better.


#5
Waiting is devoting yourself to remain abstinent and free of anything you feel you are not ready for.
No, not at all. I have not chosen to wait, in fact I plan on getting some very soon!
I chose not to wait simply because i'm ok with doing it now, and i'm comfortable with that.
No I do not regret my decision!
I think People that wait have a very strong will. I mean at least they know what they want right? I'd hope that they don't have any regrets.
I don't really think your decision about that should effect your religious morals, but i'm not really connected with religion so i don't think my opinion is that important there. Also i think it depends on who your partner is when it comes to strengthening the relationship. Some people need that physical pleasure to remain interested!
My Children don't need to wait, they just need to be smart!
I don't mind whether or not my future husband or wife has waited. Its best not to think about their past, personally i think that's just asking for trouble.
My future wife has to be the most beautiful woman, with minimum sex experience! I don't want a woman who has been in and out the sheets, it's not going to work.
I think people wait so that they won't regret who they have been with later on. They save it for that special person.
Yes I think waiting is accepted, not by everyone, but by most people.
Actually I don't know anyone who is waiting or has waited!
#6
1. Waiting to me is seeking to be completely satisfied in Christ and using your singleness for His glory. In that time, you are patiently waiting for God to unite you with the one He has for you to marry and also preparing yourself for your next season in life as a single.


2. Yes I have chosen to wait


3. I chose this because I know that my body is not my own and it was bought at a price (1 Cor. 6:18-20) and I know my self worth an value in Christ. Although I have not fully lived up to this standard and have compromised in different way I continue to seek to be pure not only in "waiting" for marital sex but also in the mind and with my eyes.


4. No I do not regret this decision. I regret times when I was disobedient and compromised my purity many times and sinning against my Lord myself & the person I sinned with. It leaves scars and damages us in ways we wouldn't have to experience at all if we didn't/don't believe the lie of the culture that says sex will satisfy. BUT IT DOESN'T!


5. Many people wait for different reasons. But if they are doing it out of fear or shame or because they don't wont to get an STD or pregnant or something, then that is the wrong motive. I too have been one of those people and ultimately its about self preservation and not about bring God glory, which is sinful. The bible tells us that "So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God" 1 Cor 10:31 or "And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him" Col 3:17. All that I do should be for His glory. I think that those who are waiting are being obedient (if for the right reasons) to God and will find their satisfaction in Him and will not regret it. I want a fresh new car to drive off the lot and not a hooptie! LBS You feel me?!


6. Yes I do. There will always be temptation. But its worth the wait.


7. Of course I would want them to wait. ESPECIALLY my daughters if I have any who will wait until they are 35 LOL jk. naw but really!


8. I would prefer for my wife to have waited but I understand that we all are sinful and have made bad decisions. But as long as she is seeking to be pure when I pursue her, her past doesn't matter to me.


9. MINES! LOL... oh and she hates sin too!


10. Same as number 5.


11. I think people who are mature respect other people who make that decision and give them props even (now that I'm older that is). Its not like this is the high school locker room after gym class where everybody is spilling out they business and embellishing stories like "Yea I hit that!" But then again, some people are still in that mindset so I digress. It depends on who you're around I guess.


12. Yes I do for both
13. Waiting is can be very difficult, but that's why it is good to stay around other believers in biblical community and to stay in prayer with accountability partners you can be transparent with & vice versa. Not to mention to constantly stay in your word because that is your guide. And lastly set boundaries for yourself. Even in relationships, you know your weak points and when you are hot, horny and want it, so don't call whoever and get the help you need in your time of weakness
so you don't act out.


Sarah again... 
I feel like a lot of these stories speak for themselves, so I’m not trying to write a book here…but after reading these you have got to see that there are people waiting or wished they would have waited if not for marriage at least for love. Soul ties are real people. You don’t want one with the wrong person. I don’t know maybe you do but I know I DON’T.
Sex is something sacred sure, but so is everything else that goes along with it. The love, the smiles, the laughs, the whispers, the holding of hands. A friend once told me while she was tearing up, “Sarah people don’t even see the beauty of holding hands anymore.” Ever since then that’s all I notice. The way someone is connected to your pulse, and that way you are trusting someone to hold your identity (i.e. your fingerprints) I KNOW RIGHT…sorry I’m a weirdo. But yea the bible says in Proverbs 4:23 “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.” That means that both guys and girls should be protecting their hearts and also if we are truly trying to be like Christ the hearts of the one we are courting/dating out of respect and love.

There is beauty in the little things. I challenge you to search for them; you won’t have to look hard. God is so perfect and amazing that he thought out every single detail and created every beautiful thing. That’s right, that means holding hands…he created that. So give Him thanks and just trust that he has the perfect amazing ending for you if you are willing to trust Him completely and let Him come first. You have to be in love....with God. It's awesome.