I have been gone from the blog for a couple months and so much has changed, but God has remained the same--He has been my constant companion and friend. It's something amazing to have a secure love. Something concrete that one never has to question. Although there are those times that make us question God and His plan...
The beginning of this semester has proven to me that God has a special plan for me. I experienced some losses the past year and a half, major losses-- my father, my uncle, my aunt, and two close friends. Every loss was hard, each one hit me different, every time God was there in the little things. The texts from friends, the nights with people who love me, and the memories.
My friends at school asked me a couple times about how I deal with these losses and if it gets easier since it has been happening so often. The answer is it doesn't get easier. I deal with losses like my grandmother. When she found out my dad died she didn't cuss at God, she didn't drain a bottle, she didn't sit and become a shadow of herself. She cried out, "Dios es bueno, God You are so good." Truth be told that broke my heart to hear because I could see the sacrifice of praise in them, I've even felt that sacrifice in syllables from my own mouth. I have been mad at God before, I was mad when my dad died, I almost got mad when these other losses hit me but anger is not of God and I had to master that. I still do.
But God has continued to bless me. With big things and small things. God is good all the time. But especially in times of hardship.
It is hard to fall on God when everything else around you is falling down. You want to stay standing through it all, but the safest thing to do is fall with everything else. Here's the trick fall on God and not ways of this world. God is amazing and He is waiting to show himself true to you and the others around you. God is a steadfast love. A perfect love. You just have to wait on him and He will appear and show out.
